FREE VIRTUAL WORKSHOP
How to Stop Getting Stuck in the Loop:
For people pleasers who'd rather betray themselves than risk being a disappointment
June 17th @ 4pm EST
You say yes when you mean no. You say you'll hold the boundary, and when the moment comes, it goes out the window. You know the pattern, you just can’t stop it. This workshop is about what happens in that moment: the science behind self- betrayal, why you repeat the very thing you said you were done with, and what you can do differently.
One live participant gets a free session!
💚
This is for you if you recognize yourself in any of this:
YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOING IN THE MOMENT and you do it anyway. You can watch yourself rewrite the text, say yes to the thing, fill the silence — and feel completely unable to stop.
YOU'VE DONE THE WORK AND YOU'RE STILL STUCK. The podcasts. The books. You understand your attachment style, your patterns, your triggers. And you went home and did it again anyway. That gap between knowing and actually changing is the most frustrating place to live.
EVERY EXIT FROM THE LOOP LEADS TO ANOTHER VERSION OF THE SAME FEAR. When you try to stop betraying yourself, you run straight into the fear of letting someone down. When you try to stop people pleasing, you run into the fear of being a disappointment. There's no door that doesn't hurt. You’re stuck.
YOU'RE EXHAUSTED IN A WAY THAT DOESN'T GO AWAY. Not tired. Depleted. The kind that comes from managing everyone else's emotions and experience so expertly that yours disappears completely.
YOU WANT TO CHANGE THIS AND YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU HAVEN'T TRIED YET.Which is exactly why you're here. See you on June 17th.
So, what’s the secret?
Your emotions have a physiological lifespan of 90 seconds.
That's it. The chemical process of a feeling, the actual bodily experience of being triggered, lasts less than a minute and a half. What keeps it going beyond that isn't the emotion. It's thought. Specifically, it's the thought that hooks you in those 90 seconds and sends you straight back into the pattern.
For people pleasers, that thought is almost always some version of the same thing: if I disappoint this person, something terrible will happen.
That thought is fast, old, and wired into your nervous system. And it fires before your thinking brain has had a chance to weigh in.
This workshop teaches you what to do in those 90 seconds. Now how to stop feeling it or fix the situation or be a different person. Just how to create enough space for the part of you that knows better to come back online.
One concrete, body-based tool. That's it. Come get it on June 17th at 4pm.
What we’ll cover
Why your nervous system is running a protection program that made complete sense once and is now running (and ruining) your life.
The 90-second rule: what's actually happening in your body when you get triggered, and why insight alone has never been enough to change it. (There's science here. It's going to make you feel a lot less crazy.)
The body-based tool for staying out of the story long enough to respond instead of react.
What to do when the intrusive thought won't quit.
Why you can learn all of this today and still go home and not use it, and what actually closes that gap.
What actually changes
You stop feeling like you're forgetting someone. That low hum of vigilance — did I upset them, are they okay, what do they need — starts to quiet.
You feel less on edge in your own life. Less self-monitoring. Less if I do this, what will happen. More just... doing the thing.
You can sit in silence without wanting to crawl out of your skin. You can be with someone else's feelings without immediately trying to fix them. You can want something out loud without it feeling like a risk.
Your yes means something again. Which means your relationships stop feeling transactional and start feeling real, because you're actually in them, instead of managing them from a slight distance.
You feel more like yourself. Not a better, improved, optimized version. Just more available. More free. More often amused by your life than exhausted by it.
And pleasure — the small everyday kind, and the bigger kind — starts to feel like something you're allowed to have.
Hi, I’m Meryl.
I'm a somatic sex and intimacy coach based in Brooklyn. I work with people who are smart, self-aware, and tired of the gap between knowing and changing. This is the work I do, and it's the work I've done on myself.
Just like you, I spent years understanding my patterns and still doing the same things. What actually started to shift wasn't more understanding. It was learning to do something different in the body, in the moment, when everything in me wanted to react the way I always had.
I became the practitioner I needed. This workshop is the place I wish I'd had.
The workshop gives you the tool. The group is where you actually build the muscle.
If something in you already knows you want more than one hour — come to the workshop and we'll talk about it there. Or go ahead and read about the group now.
Ready to do the reps?
Any last questions?
-
No. If you're a human who has ever gotten triggered in a relationship, you're qualified.
-
Yes. If you register and can't make it live, you'll get the recording.
-
There isn't one. It's free. At the end I'll share what it looks like to keep working with me if you want to. You're not obligated to do anything with that information.
-
You're going to do the tool, not just hear about it. There's a difference between understanding something and having your body experience it. That's kind of the whole point.