“The sex and relationships of your dreams”

starts with knowing what you actually want.

Meryl, somatic sex and intimacy coach, smiling and looking up to the left, wearing a black coat

You feel like parts of your life were decided for you. It doesn’t have to stay that way.

Business card for Meryl Victoria, a somatic sex and intimacy coach, with a brown, brushstroke background and white script font.
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You say sorry when someone bumps into you.

You defer to someone else about what you want for dinner.

You don't send the food back. 

None of it seems like a big deal. That's exactly the point.

The work I do with people starts that small. Actually tuning in, so you can know what you want in order to create it.

A cup of latte with latte art, a chocolate-filled pastry, and a cup of coffee.
Watercolor illustration of a bouquet of colorful flowers including pink poppies, yellow and orange pansies, blue forget-me-nots, and purple lavender, tied with a blue ribbon.

If this sounds familiar, it’s because moments like this show up everywhere. Here’s what it looks like when people finally come find me:

Highly therapized couples having the same fight for ten years

Women who keep choosing the same person with a different face

Partners who want to open their relationship without burning it down

People raised with religious upbringings who can’t shake the shame

Partners who can’t make any sense of their sex life

Polycules reenacting old family dynamics they were trying to escape

Parents who don’t know how to be both a parent and a person

Men who don’t know how to be authentic without being “toxic”

People who can be honest with everyone except the person they love the most

A climbing plant with yellow flowers growing on a vertical support with green, red, and brown sections.
A partially illustrated plant with green leaves and yellow flowers.
A bunch of lavender flowers with tall purple stems and green leaves.

Now, your life is about managing that one issue plus everything else. And you’ve learned to carry all of it so well that now it just feels like you.

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So, of course you’re tired. Not dramatically. Just this low hum underneath everything, this not-quite-full exhale, this sense that you're always one obligation away from the moment when you finally get to rest.

And that moment never seems to come.

You make do. You survive. You perform the right version of yourself so consistently that the unperformed one has gone quiet.

An illustration of a brown fedora hat with a light-colored band resting on a blue surface
A person holds a wide-brimmed hat in front of their face, with only their eyes visible. Multiple hats are stacked on their head.

Did you forget yourself? Or did you never really know?

Everything you’re feeling - stuck, lost, overwhelmed, exhausted, guilty, just fucking sick of it - you were set up to feel that. You’re right to feel it, and it didn’t start with you. Learn more about me and my values here.