I’m Meryl…
…and I’m here to help you connect with yourself and your desires so you can feel empowered to choose pleasure every damn day.
Through our work together, you will learn how to have your best possible sex and relationships out in the world. Sound too good to be true? Read on, babe.
We’re taking it back to the body
As a reformed opera singer I am keenly aware of the power of our bodies, particularly when it comes to our bodies’ memory. Together we will have experiential, fully embodied, real-time practice with intimacy. Every time we work together your body will become more familiar with the physical sensations of your feelings (crazy, right? Read that again). This means not only is your brain learning, but your body is learning, too. Our bodies are constantly trying to communicate with us, not only through our physiological sensations but also through our intuition. Practicing embodiment will connect you more deeply to both, and you will learn to trust your whole self.
Getting intimate? Explain yourself.
I will invite you, now and in our sessions, to expand your idea of what “intimacy” means, what it can look like, and how it can be experienced. As I see it, intimacy is all about the safety we experience in deep emotional connection with people we care about. Together we will co-create a totally safe, accepting, and non-judgmental container for us to experience intimate connection. The containers that I build with each of my clients are a reflection of them and their needs, and they all feel a little different. Your boundaries are important and unique, and it’s important to me that they are honored. Likewise, I will always maintain my personal and professional boundaries while we explore and experiment with intimacy.
What does this look like? Here are some examples!
Triggers.
As we learn about one another we will naturally and inadvertently step on each other’s triggers. Yeah, it’s uncomfortable but it happens… a lot. When you get triggered, we will identify your body’s sensations, map the trigger, and make a game plan for what to do when it happens IRL. When either of us get triggered, we will practice with vulnerability & empathy and learn how to care for and soothe one another in the midst of triggers. Part of being human is triggering people.
Pleasure.
My very favorite word in any language. What if your body experiences pleasure in ways you’ve never thought to explore? Perhaps you’ve never even asked yourself “what feels good for me?” Do you like to be stroked gently or grabbed or both? Are your ankles a secret erogenous zone? How do you like to touch your partner(s)? Are you maximizing pleasure in your life - in and out of the bedroom? Eroticism and pleasure are not reserved for sex; your whole life can be a joyous, pleasurable celebration of the fulfillment of your beautiful desires!
De-shamifying.
Shame is the most incapacitating, insidious, and pervasive feeling we experience (“we” meaning, literally, everyone). We are shamed into submission by society and our unique cultural upbringings, forced to “fit in” so as to avoid any possible scenario in which our institutionalized shame makes a (GASP) public appearance. Brace yourself: I’m here to tell you that’s all bullshit and help you unlearn all of the toxic messaging that shaped your shame and assisted in forming some of your core wounds.
Is this right for me?
Obviously I think everyone would benefit from doing this kind of work, learning the tools of intimacy and how they can teach people the best ways to love them. But it is work, consistency and dedication are essential in order to make the most of the experiences we share in the Lab and the investment you make in yourself. Your self-awareness will skyrocket which, although not a painless experience, will allow you to make new decisions for yourself & your life. So, willingness to do the work is #1.
I work with practices around empathy & attunement, core desires, boundaries, triggers, communication & sharing feelings, shame, performance anxiety, attachment, low desire, disappointment, repair, pleasure mapping, de-compartmentalizing sexuality, receiving desire, consent…
…and if you’re thinking “hmm, I wonder if she can help me with ___,” there’s no better way to find out than to ask.
Why Meryl?
You might be wondering how a person even becomes qualified to do this kind of coaching work and that’s a great question. For a detailed version of my origin story, check out my Blog Post on that very subject.
Probably the most important thing to know about me as a coach is my approach to the work.
First, I believe in working with what is. The process of growth and healing isn’t about changing your whole personality and everything about yourself. I know it sometimes feels like your entire life needs a major overhaul, but most of the time the pathway to personal happiness and pleasure is paved with baby steps and small changes.
Second, I don’t do toxic positivity and sometimes things just suck. There’s nothing I can do about the oppressive systems under which we live - capitalism, patriarchy, systemic racism, classism, and all the rest. What we can do is find ways to regulate ourselves in a dysregulated world and find our pathways to pleasure and joy in a radical act of defiance of the systems.
Third, I believe in evidence, and pleasure is my religion. I take a science- and nervous system-based approach to healing through the lens of sexuality with a little garnish of whatever spiritual practice resonates with you. Whether we’re discussing the function of the vagus nerve or the power of a full moon, I will only offer you practices and exercises that I believe in based on their efficacy in my own and my clients’ experiences. Take what you want, and leave what you don’t! And I’m not in the business of yucking anyone’s yum; if it gives you pleasure, I love that for you. Whatever your desires are (even if they’re impossible or illegal) we can understand and accept them, and learn about ourselves through them.
