FAQs
is this Just tips and tricks that I could get from cosmo?
Not even close. In fact, many of my clients and I don’t even get to talking about the physical experience of sex and sexuality for months. Pleasure happens in the brain, but the body receives it. So, I will help you reconnect with your emotional and intellectual self, and then reestablish connection with your body so you can fully receive pleasure. Once you clarify and have your ideal conditions for experiencing your own personal eros, then we can talk about ways to achieve that all the time. And yes, you’ll pick up some tips and tricks along the way.
How Many sessions will I need?
While therapy is long-term over the course of many years, coaching relationships tend to end upon the accomplishment of the client’s specific goals and successful ability to use their new tools out in the world. Everyone is different and I respect that this process will look and feel unique with each of my clients. My suggestion is to come in with no expectations of how long this will take and just listen to your intuition. How can you have expectations of yourself when you’re doing something totally new? However your journey unfolds, I’ll be there celebrating with you at the finish line.
Who Do you Work with?
Anyone! I work with clients across the gender spectrum and of all identities, orientations, races, and religions. I also welcome those that choose both traditional and non-traditional relationship structures.
As I am an active participant in the relationship that develops, it’s important to me that I share my energy with people who believe in equity, safety, and care for all marginalized communities.
Is this Sex Therapy?
Nope. I am a huge advocate for therapy and I’m passionate about inclusive mental healthcare. Therapists help you examine your past in order to heal, and diagnose and treat mental health concerns. While we will revisit past experiences together, you and I are looking towards the future and making space for all of the pleasure and joy that life has to offer. We will work towards well-defined goals and create specific, individualized plans of action in order to accomplish them. I believe this style of coaching is a very powerful supplement to traditional therapies, and I am passionate about creating a cohesive mental health plan along with other mental or physical health practitioners that you work with.
What are your Qualifications?
After receiving two advanced degrees in academia and participating in several certification programs in the wellness space, I have found that there is a massive amount of gatekeeping in the world of education. This is not something I choose to engage with, especially as there is a lot of room in the wellness space to take financial advantage of people.
That being said, I am deeply committed to my continuing education. I am always learning and diversifying my knowledge by being educated through different institutions, organizations, and individuals on a variety of subjects. I do my research and ensure that I am working with ethical and reputable professionals. I’m always happy to answer any specific questions about my education and qualifications.
Do you have sex with your clients?
A lot of the work I do with my clients is around practice with boundaries. For these practices to be most effective, it’s best that they not know all of my boundaries up front so they can encounter them in real time. What I can say now is that I do not consider myself a sex worker.
This is a hands-on practice, but that is not a requirement in order to reap the full rewards of this kind of work. You are always allowed to change your mind; if you decide you want to move from hands-off to hands-on coaching or vice versa, I will be there to celebrate your boundaries, whatever they are.
I’m Still Thinking about it. What am I missing?
I get it, this feels like a big decision and you might not be totally sure what you’re even signing up for. If any of the following resonates with you, it’s worth a 30-minute phone call:
Doomscrolling “influencers” leaves me feeling the need to crash diet/get to the gym but the idea of people seeing my body in spandex is too cringey. I feel stuck.
I’m distractible during sex and find myself thinking about the To Do List or the show I’m bingeing or my kids’ schedules or the dishes in the sink or...
My upbringing was very conservative and as a result I have lots of conflicting feelings and shame around my sexuality.
I space the hell right out and have no idea what to do or say when my partner talks about their feelings or gets emotional.
Some people seem so effortlessly confident, why can’t I be like that?
My partner wants to have way more sex than I do. I don’t want to let them down but I’m just not feeling it.
Sometimes I completely fly off the handle at my partner, even when they’re just trying to be nice.
I wouldn’t even know how to answer my partner if they asked what I wanted in bed. It would probably just be too embarrassed and awkward to talk about.
Maybe I’m just too much.
Maybe I’m just not enough.